Fun with search terms

Some random fun inspired by Bing over at Happy Jihad's House of Pancakes. (And, indirectly, by Jeff Martin). So Bing recently did a post on the weird search terms that have led people to his blog, and, despite not having anything nearly as awesome as "god strong like a fucking unicorn," I thought it could be fun to do a similar exercise. So here's mine, culled from my Google Analytics account:

• neil degrasse tyson nude pictures (Ewww... I love deGrasse Tyson, but nude?? Please no.)
• theocratic pick-up lines (They're breeding!!)
  
• vicks vaporub paleolithic (That's right, Vicks Vaporub is over 10,000 years old!)
  
• wealth and dishonesty is good in richness (My gran always used to say exactly that...)
• when hallucinating i see only cats (Oh noes!)
• when studying in school at night i would sleep on my sisters belly (Holy crap that's creepy).
• three-toed sloth witchcraft (Right).
  
• yo ghosts, stop raping me while i sleep (Wow. I don't know what's more disturbing: that this person dreams of being raped by ghosts, or that he or she tries to communicate with these ghosts through Google).
• hume lake blog unicorn (David Hume. Lakes. Blogs. Unicorns. I see the connections...).
• satan's egg faberge (I had to look up Egg Faberge, and I'm pretty sure Satan doesn't have one...).
  
• so scientists say homo sapiens are descended from the three toed sloth? (Ummm... No. No, they don't.)
  
• alien vs bigfoot (Not any more ridiculous that Alien vs. Predator I suppose. I feel a movie franchise is on the way...)
• follow my master, evolution (So, is evolution being told to follow someone's master? Or is evolution the master being followed? The young people of today and their ambiguous sentences!)
• "what to do with a ph.d." (Um...)
• sloth medicine in homeopathy (Great. Homeopathic sloth veterinarians. Just what the world needs).
• righteous african stands tall alone (Oh yeah!).
• is ionian an animal (No. Glad I could help).
  
• the best men enchantment with no bad side effect (They're called "boobs")
  
• embed evince bonobo (Umm. Okay...)

And now for the porn searches:

• no heaven no hell just porno
• hell porn
• african family porn
• penis enchantment video
• mini twenty porno family
• atheist family porn
• family african porn
• fun porn for whole family video
• mouseman porn video
• orrery porn
• philosopher porn pictures
• porn brainey video nerd
• porn meadon (ARRRRRRRGGgggggggggghhhhhhhh)